A couple of days ago, I shared a touching story about letting go of what you are afraid of to allow in the help. (see my post from June 25th) And I had a few lovely conversations with folks about that, aware of the different things that hold us back from getting support -- like, shame, wanting to seem capable, thinking it is easier than it is, avoidance, fear. WOW!
I know that I certainly have a strong streak in me that needs to show how capable that I am. (I call that part of myself "Marjorie"). She's an expert at being efficient and good and often she gets out of control.... to my own detriment.
This past year, I've had to dig deep into trusting and knowing my own capability while also asking for more support and help than I ever have before. It’s been tough. How do those two work together?
Well, first of all, deeply knowing my own capability is waaaay different from needing to prove it to others. So the one thing that I am aware of unwinding is that need to prove it. I know I am strong and capable. And, that is satisfying to me.
From that place, it is easier to ask for help because now I know that help has nothing to do with my worth. It has to do with the simple fact that some things are just easier with someone else! And often more fun! I've also learned that I am uniquely designed to thrive in partnership and collaboration with others (which not everyone is) and so allowing myself to ask for help is relaxing into who I am built to be.
So, yes, there is a place to be independent and capable and fully trusting of your own inner authority and guidance. And, at the same time, there is a place to have a space held for you, someone to bounce your thinking off of, someone to seek advice from who is more of an expert than you. (PS: you can’t be expert at EVERYTHING!)
ITS. OK. TO. GET. SUPPORT.
This is where co-creative partnership comes in. This is partnership with the kind of support who trusts in your personal knowing and yet can hold a space to deepen into your own inquiry or discover answers that were not yet clear within yourself.
Co-creative partnership is like a beautiful piece of jazz improv— where each person contributes from their soul while also listening to and jamming off of the others. All the musicians feed off of each other to create something more beautiful and interesting than could have been played by any one person alone.
And, that kind of partnership is how I love to show up for my clients and customers. In relationship with them. Every coaching conversation is a journey of trust in my clients’ instinct while I ask questions or share the view from my perspective that might help them find their own answers within.
I’ve had teachers and mentors like that over the years — the ones who answer a question with another question. Which, can be maddening but has always pushed me to dig deeper and seek more alignment with the resolutions I may come to. The leaders who trust and value my ability to know myself while also inviting in additional perspectives.
It is those kinds of mentors that I seek out when I ask for help. The ones who trust my capability and still provide support. And, not the cheerleading-whatever-you-say support, but the ask-the-thing-I’m-not-saying kind of support.
Is that the kind of partnership of support you’d like as well?
I have openings for new client partnerships. If that is something that interests you, Contact Me, and let’s talk about it. I’d love to hear more.